I have developed some very "uncharacteristic" habits in these last four years . One of them is going out for a stroll whenever the weather looks pleasant enough. I always had been an emotional person and in moments like these I try to "feel" nature and reflect on my self. Yesterday was another day with extremely pleasant weather here in Islamabad . I went out for a walk , trying to feel the breeze as it impinged on me . I love how the air rolls around my neck blowing away my curly long hair. It is moments like these I wish to seize , it is moments like these I wish to keep .
As I proceeded though I met a young freshie along my way . Its really so amazingly easy to spot a freshman in a university. Their timid looks coupled with the aura of "purity" surrounding them always surprise me. This lad ,whom I met, decided to walk with me. We began to chat about our experiences over here. He then depressingly said "Bhai yeh uni mein tu mein nahee reh sakta " . I replied "Kyun". He said "Bhai yahaan per tu itnay gande larke hain aur itna ganda mahol hai aur waise bhee mujhe ghar walay bhaat yaad aate hain"(he was a hostelite).I replied somewhat confusingly "sab kar letay hain adapt , tu bhee kar le ga" . I tried to mask my inner feelings with this reply. The truth is his question instilled within me memories that I had so easily forgotten . They reminded me about the innocence that emanated from me,the sensitivity that existed within me and the righteousness that had guided me. Its really hard to think what four years can do to you . Reality is , they can do alot.
It would seem though that independence and this whole four year experience makes you responsible and when you become responsible , you have to sacrifice your innocence and sensitivity for ruthlessness . It would seem that parents some how shield their precious child from the world and keep shine over their precious "valuable" so that the glittery shine of innocence remains intact and keeps on emanating . The atmosphere however tries it utmost to destroy that shine of innocence , just like it rots an apple when it's skin is peeled off . It would seem sometimes these are the requirements for the world. The world ,in all sincerity , is a cruel creature waiting to impound weaklings . Sad but true .
As for me , I am no longer that timid creature that used to shiver when asked a question. I am no longer that sensitive creature that used to flood his eyes with water at nights. Times have changed and so have I . I have evolved . I have transformed.
